"Who is bored?"
I had dinner with Lucas at a Thai restaurant tonight and he let me order. A waitress walked by with a tray of candles and he said, “two, please”. He held one candle up to my face before he set it down and stared at me with his wide, ruminating eyes. “Do you see how the light changes your appearance? There is a glow reflecting off of the white parts. Do you see?” Lucas asked me if I’d seen Damien recently and if he was still as self-centered as before. I said that he might be, but he is still capable of listening to me and being present. I told him that I guess I don’t mind people with big egos and he said that that’s because I’m a screen that attracts them, so that with my passivity they can project their egos onto me. (J left on a Thursday, and with his leaving opened up an abyss. I have found myself unanchored and floating, trying to make sense of the pieces of my heart so that I can put them back together again. I told Lucas this and he says that I’ve been given an opport
